Shopping Anxiety

By Rachel

I’m extremely OCD about shopping. When I shop, I have a mental game plan and usually a routine for each store that I frequent. I know where everything is. I know what I want before I go in. I know the quickest and most logical way for me to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible.

I had to go to the grocery store today to pick up a few items. I was at Target and then had to go to Giant Eagle (Pittsburgh area version of Kroger, Windixie, Albertson’s, etc.) I always go to the Brentwood location because it’s only about a mile from my house. I decided to venture into the West Mifflin GE because I was already in the area.

This adventure was enough to give me a panic attack. When I have to visit a Target, WalMart, or Giant Eagle that isn’t the one I usually am a patron of, I feel completely lost. The stores are NEVER set up the same. I get anxious. I don’t care how ridiculous it sounds, but I am a creature of habit. I know my way around the GE up the street from my house. I know where everything is and I have a very specific path that I take through the store.

It was rough a few months ago when they remodeled the store and I had to re-learn my way through it. I still have moments of like, “where am I?”

This is what my inner monologue was while on this shopping trip. A whopping $36.76 and an additional $0.10 off of gas at Get-GO worth of anxiety.

“Why are these blueberry containers so huge? Can’t I just get a little container of blueberries?”

“Okay, the bags of baby carrots are gigantic. Did I walk into Costco by accident? I don’t need to stock up on carrots for the winter.” (Place them in my cart. Giant bag of baby carrots=less money than small bag of organic baby carrots.)

“Where the hell is cereal in this place? I just need Frosted Mini-Wheats. Where are the Mini-Wheats? MY KID DEMANDS FUCKING MINI-WHEATS! Why is it so hard to locate fucking cereal in this place?”

“Ummm why is there an organic/gluten free section in every freaking isle of this place? Brentwood has a special section. There are Pringles with organic rice cakes. Wait…did Pringles go organic?!?!!” *Thoroughly examine the container, place it back on the shelf.* You’re a fraud, Giant Eagle! I’m onto you!

“Why don’t they have the size container of yogurt I want? I don’t need a giant tub of yogurt, just a medium sized one. Who can eat that much yogurt before it goes bad? Where is just a container of Chobani the size I want?!?! What is this brand? This doesn’t look safe…*Places it in my cart* I swear to God, I’m going to die eating this weird brand of yogurt. Brentwood Giant Eagle wouldn’t do this to me! Brentwood Giant Eagle would have the appropriate sized container of Greek yogurt!”

The same thing happened at the Target and Macy’s at the Waterfront and again at the Bethel Park Giant Eagle.

Even worse, is going clothes shopping and they don’t have my size in ANYTHING. Oh yeah. That happened around Christmas. NY&Co had jeans 50% off. I needed thankfully smaller pants. They did not have one pair of jeans in my size. NOT. FUCKING. ONE. In any style. Except petite. Doesn’t help a girl who’s about 5’7″, 5’8″ on a good day.

How in the hell is a store out of only my size? Skinny, boot cut, wide leg, flare, leggings. Didn’t matter. Oh. There was one pair. Cords. No thanks. I left cords back in the 90s where they God dammed well belong.

Actually, now that I think about it, in the last 5 years as my weight has fluctuated, NY&Co NEVER EVER has my size. I walk into the store now pretty much expecting the inevitable.

I think even worse than that is going to the Nine West outlet and they don’t have my size in the color I want.

Even at the outlets I have a specific path that I follow and order of stores that I visit. I’m an OCD shopper. I never just browse around. I always have a mission and an order of how it will be accomplished.

Except at Target. Going to Target for no reason is totally acceptable. Just be prepared to spend no less than $75. I went to Target today with a very specific agenda. Came out with a mini-one serving blender. The pitcher is actually a travel mug. A travel mug. And it came in pink.

But really, someone please tell me that I’m not the only one who feels this way when visiting a new grocery store? I’m not crazy. ­čśŽ

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Guest Post on Construx Nunchux

I did a guest post for the guys over at Construx Nunchux on Girl Problems. Be sure to check it out! Hope you enjoy!

 

I know I haven’t posted in awhile. I have been super swamped with school, and work, and my son, but two new blogs are coming tonight! One is a guest post from a male friend of mine and I will counter his post with one of my own on the same subject! Can’t wait! Thanks for sticking around!

The First Night

By  Rachel

I know a girl who puts out and puts out a LOT. That is actually an understatement. I’ve never known someone who has slept with so many people and not been paid for it. Yet she wonders why she cannot snag a nice guy. Well, my dear, if you spread your legs so easily, why would a guy keep you? You cannot leave a bar with a guy you just met, fuck him in his driveway, and then expect him to call you. He cannot and will not ever take you home to his mother.

You cannot make it so easy for someone. If you put out as soon as you meet someone, then what do they have left to chase? Men like to chase, women like to be chased. You just took away the thrill of the hunt. If you put out that easily for one guy, how many other guys have you let between your legs? Especially if this happened in a bar bathroom or something.

But what about for guys? What about guys who get around? Does the same rule apply?

It does. There are really three ways this can go if you are the guy and you sleep with a girl you just met.

The first is that she goes home and you never deal with her again. Don’t get a complex about it. It’s not that you were bad in bed. It’s not that she didn’t like you. It’s not that she didn’t have fun. (Okay, sometimes it is those things.) She just knew what this was. It was a one night stand with some random she met out. If you had been hoping to see her again, sleeping with her that first night is what killed your chances of a relationship. Why though?

You made it just as easy as she did. All fun of getting to know someone and the anticipation of the first kiss and your first time sleeping together is gone. What is there to look forward to now?

The second is that she goes psycho hose beast and tries to never leave.

The third is that you do end up dating. But if you are someone who gets around, we can tell. So we are either going to play the game right back or disregard you. Sometimes sex is just that. It is sex. It is empty with nothing behind it other than your own personal pleasure.

Alternate scenario: you hook up a few more time, but nothing more.

A few weeks ago I was out with some girlfriends and there was a guy there. He was as gorgeous as they come. But he flirted with EVERYONE. No matter what the girl looked like. He tried to make every girl feel special. He probably gets laid a lot, but he is totally undateable. But I bet that most of the girls he takes home turn psycho hose beast on him. And he either wonders why or enjoys the attention. It feeds his ego.

But in general, a lot of women would pick up on his game and elect to just get what they can out of it and be done with him. Guys who do this are just as easy to play right back. Feed the ego, but act aloof about seeing them again.

Really, guys. Just like when a girl puts out on the first date and you decide that makes her undateable, we do the same thing. Not always- sometimes we go completely stalker, crazy, psycho. Every now and then something might stick. But if you are someone who is out screwing everything with tits, we can tell. If you want to date the girl, get her number, leave the bar, and call her the next day. Don’t take her home.