Shopping Anxiety

By Rachel

I’m extremely OCD about shopping. When I shop, I have a mental game plan and usually a routine for each store that I frequent. I know where everything is. I know what I want before I go in. I know the quickest and most logical way for me to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible.

I had to go to the grocery store today to pick up a few items. I was at Target and then had to go to Giant Eagle (Pittsburgh area version of Kroger, Windixie, Albertson’s, etc.) I always go to the Brentwood location because it’s only about a mile from my house. I decided to venture into the West Mifflin GE because I was already in the area.

This adventure was enough to give me a panic attack. When I have to visit a Target, WalMart, or Giant Eagle that isn’t the one I usually am a patron of, I feel completely lost. The stores are NEVER set up the same. I get anxious. I don’t care how ridiculous it sounds, but I am a creature of habit. I know my way around the GE up the street from my house. I know where everything is and I have a very specific path that I take through the store.

It was rough a few months ago when they remodeled the store and I had to re-learn my way through it. I still have moments of like, “where am I?”

This is what my inner monologue was while on this shopping trip. A whopping $36.76 and an additional $0.10 off of gas at Get-GO worth of anxiety.

“Why are these blueberry containers so huge? Can’t I just get a little container of blueberries?”

“Okay, the bags of baby carrots are gigantic. Did I walk into Costco by accident? I don’t need to stock up on carrots for the winter.” (Place them in my cart. Giant bag of baby carrots=less money than small bag of organic baby carrots.)

“Where the hell is cereal in this place? I just need Frosted Mini-Wheats. Where are the Mini-Wheats? MY KID DEMANDS FUCKING MINI-WHEATS! Why is it so hard to locate fucking cereal in this place?”

“Ummm why is there an organic/gluten free section in every freaking isle of this place? Brentwood has a special section. There are Pringles with organic rice cakes. Wait…did Pringles go organic?!?!!” *Thoroughly examine the container, place it back on the shelf.* You’re a fraud, Giant Eagle! I’m onto you!

“Why don’t they have the size container of yogurt I want? I don’t need a giant tub of yogurt, just a medium sized one. Who can eat that much yogurt before it goes bad? Where is just a container of Chobani the size I want?!?! What is this brand? This doesn’t look safe…*Places it in my cart* I swear to God, I’m going to die eating this weird brand of yogurt. Brentwood Giant Eagle wouldn’t do this to me! Brentwood Giant Eagle would have the appropriate sized container of Greek yogurt!”

The same thing happened at the Target and Macy’s at the Waterfront and again at the Bethel Park Giant Eagle.

Even worse, is going clothes shopping and they don’t have my size in ANYTHING. Oh yeah. That happened around Christmas. NY&Co had jeans 50% off. I needed thankfully smaller pants. They did not have one pair of jeans in my size. NOT. FUCKING. ONE. In any style. Except petite. Doesn’t help a girl who’s about 5’7″, 5’8″ on a good day.

How in the hell is a store out of only my size? Skinny, boot cut, wide leg, flare, leggings. Didn’t matter. Oh. There was one pair. Cords. No thanks. I left cords back in the 90s where they God dammed well belong.

Actually, now that I think about it, in the last 5 years as my weight has fluctuated, NY&Co NEVER EVER has my size. I walk into the store now pretty much expecting the inevitable.

I think even worse than that is going to the Nine West outlet and they don’t have my size in the color I want.

Even at the outlets I have a specific path that I follow and order of stores that I visit. I’m an OCD shopper. I never just browse around. I always have a mission and an order of how it will be accomplished.

Except at Target. Going to Target for no reason is totally acceptable. Just be prepared to spend no less than $75. I went to Target today with a very specific agenda. Came out with a mini-one serving blender. The pitcher is actually a travel mug. A travel mug. And it came in pink.

But really, someone please tell me that I’m not the only one who feels this way when visiting a new grocery store? I’m not crazy. 😦

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One thought on “Shopping Anxiety

  1. if you really want to go crazy, go into Whole Paycheck (Whole Foods) with a grocery list of foods needed for a diet/cleanse, half of which you can’t pronounce and/or identify.

    those stores aren’t particularly large, and it still took me almost 2 hours to buy $250 of groceries (which was about 2 -3 large shopping bags).

    around the 2 hour mark is when I said “fuck it” and bought the inorganic produce at one of my normal grocery stores.

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