Show me yours, I’ll show you mine

By Rachel

Go ahead. Drop them.

Kidding!

Now that I have your attention, let’s talk about the importance of being yourself.

The thing I hate most about dating is the first 10 date facade. The first month or two, people are trying to conceal their flaws- or at least what they believe to be flaws. All the while, they are hoping that the person before them is in fact the person they perceive them to be. A tad hypocritical, is it not?

You need to show who you are. Up front and in a hurry. The key to having a successful relationship is to love someone unconditionally. You love them because they have flaws. I completely stand by the notion that no one is perfect until you love them. I love when someone has visible flaws and quirks. It makes them interesting. It makes them REAL.

I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I won’t even pretend to be. Honestly, I wouldn’t even know how to act like something I’m not. I spent so much time in past relationships trying to be what someone wanted me to be that I completely lost sight of who I wanted to be.

If you just met someone and are hoping to form a bond, they need to accept everything about you. So if you snort when you laugh sometimes, don’t try to conceal this. If you have confidence in yourself, it will show and you will be appreciated for that. It is okay to have imperfections. I personally love all of the little off things about people. One of my ex’s had a gap in his teeth that was off to the side. It wasn’t his two front teeth. But he hated smiling because of it. But I would do anything to make him smile. I thought the gap was adorable and it wasn’t as prominent or bad as he thought it was.

Waiting until someone is already smitten with you to show who you really are is just about the same thing as lying. You are lying to them and you are being completely dishonest with yourself by trying to raise yourself to a new standard for the sake of impressing someone else.

As time goes on in a relationship, all will be revealed. It will take time, but as you grow to know one another, you will figure out what your deal breakers are. Just because you think something about you will make someone high tail out of there, it doesn’t mean it is true. That’s insecurity and fear of rejection talking. But why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t accept you for all that you are and have to offer? You can’t build a relationship on a lie, even if it is the most miniscule thing in the universe.

Don’t hide who you are.

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