Murdering Language

By Rachel

If there is one thing that Pittsburgh is good for, it is completely butchering the English language. We have our own language here-

If you have never done this, I feel sorry for you.

which is basically a bunch of nonsense words and words that we omit the last few letters from. I am totally guilty myself. “Aht.” Oh, sweet Jesus I wish I could just pronounce it as “out.” I try so hard. Failure.

Today, a coworker messaged me to ask if I knew the process for something that we are doing tomorrow. I told him that I would give the expenses to whomever necessary. He lauded me for using the word “whomever.” A sucker for grammar.

The worst assault on the English language and grammar has been social media and texting. Our new lifestyle that limits us completing thoughts in under 260 characters has hindered our ability to develop coherent and proper thoughts. Everybody misunderstands one another. Why? Well, you try giving a detailed explanation of how you feel on a given topic (political, religious, etc) in 140 characters.

The written word is a form of art that seems to be dying and we murder it more and more each day. The same people that I see chastising others for their poor grammar are the same who do this all the live long day:

OMG Yew guyyyyz!!! OMGZ! I cant  believe it! So much LOLZ!! Yinz are the best yinz know?

Oh. My. Fucking. God. Stop. Please, just stop.

Congratulations for calling out every Moe, Dick, and Harry for not knowing the difference between “your” and “you’re”, but why in the hell is there a “z” at the end of every word you type?

“Omgz you guyz! I cant stand peeps with poor grammer. I am such the grammer police!”

No. All of you are an embarrassment to grammar.

I have had a profound love for writing as an art from a young age. Whether I was reading anything I could get my hands on or writing poetry, short stories, or journalistic pieces, writing has always been a part of my life. It is the medium in which I express myself best. While I understand that this blog tends to be on the more vulgar side, that is because I have chosen a specific style of writing for this site and to play a character as I write. While she emulates the real me in so many ways, she is more brash than I am in my every day life (only slightly more so!).

But this is art to me. This is me expressing myself and letting out all of the things that I experience each day. This is my stress relief and my way of touching the world around me. I treat it as my baby. I actually have another blog that is sports oriented. You will find the writing style far more professional and analytical in nature.

I took a writing class in high school and we learned about something called “55 fiction“. It is a form of writing where you tell an entire story in just 55 words. You must choose your words and descriptors carefully. It was the most fun writing exercise I have ever done. It is challenging and it truly shows what writing can achieve with so little words. It isn’t about how many words you say, it is about how you say it.

Have you ever read old letters from soldiers to their sweethearts back at home? They are beautiful, romantic and from the heart. It is has taken less than a century for men and women to lose their ability to speak in such a graceful manner. Technology!

I know that we live in a world where grammar seems to no longer matter and expression is now about being as brazen and obnoxious as you can manage. I encourage everyone to step back  and make better use of your words.

And can we please bring back writing letters? In cursive.

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